How to drink, and how not to drink, kombucha

A wise man once said, "I would like a great lake of beer for the King of Kings. I would like to be watching Heaven's family drinking it through all eternity."

Did I mention that this wise man was a saint?

For the Lenten season, the church I attend gifted parishioners with a little black book of daily meditations. My favorite entry so far has hands down been about St. Brigid, quoted above, and how beer fit closely into historical Lenten traditions. I knew I was a Catholic... As the stories go, because of Lenten fasting, monks and other religious people would consume beer as a way to get the nutrition their body required. They referred to it as "liquid bread."

The Hennons and the "Beth-ew" paid special homage to this Lenten tradition last Friday with a visit to the new brewery down the road. "Old Stump" is a fairly large craft brewery located in a business park off Bonita Avenue, past Garey Ave, just before you hit the Pomona/La Verne border. The place has only been open about six months, but already features some pretty extensive equipment for brewing. Promising.

The beer itself is not bad - on Friday they were featuring quite a few blondes, not necessarily my beer o choice, but there were some flavor profiles I found very intriguing. For one: the Muffin top blueberry blonde. The concept intrigued me (I enjoy a good fruity beer) and the flavor did not disappoint. You can most definitely taste those berries! Light and fruity and very enjoyable.

On the opposite end of the spectrum: the Bonfire Blonde. Basically what it sounds like - a light beer with a spicy finish, brewed with jalapeno. As terrible as it may seem, and I can sympathize - I have tried some really inedible spicy beers - this one was most definitely palatable. The beer was smooth on the front with a nice kick on the back, warming your throat but not overwhelming. You want an uncomfortable kick, try Stone's Crime and Punishment. The names say it all. I hurt just thinking about those beers.

Feeling adventurous, but not that adventurous? Try what I did and go for a half Muffin, half Bonfire. Perfect amount of fruit and spice. Sip your beers while playing a game shuffleboard like we did. Tons of fun. Jamison also found it very amusing :)

I tried a new beverage yesterday, which was entirely less successful. Emily and I met for lunch at the Grove House on the Pitzer College Campus. The Grove House is a 110-year old Craftsman at the northern end of campus that serves as a restaurant and cozy lounge.

The menu is constantly rotating and features produce grown in plots to the side of the building. Em and I were pleased to find they were serving burrito bowls with brown rice, beans, fresh pico de gallo, and avocado. They also had an option of ground turkey, tofu, or a potato/soyrizo mix. I was all about the soyrizo. Oh boy, that bowl was good. The ingredients were flavorful, their was just the right amount of heat, and the portion was perfectly sized.

To avoid ordering a cookie (why, Lent, why!?), I decided to treat myself to a drink and ordered a kombucha.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into... I had only a vague idea of what kombucha was. I knew it was a fermented tea drink toted as an excellent probiotic filled with amazing health benefits. That's about it. Here are three things I consequently found out very quickly about kombucha:

1. Holy Vinegar. Your tastebuds immediately seize as the acidity hits. The flavor profile was not unlike a mix of apple cidar vinegar, olive juice, Tabasco, and maybe just a splash of cranberry, which lent the dirnk it's color.

2. Don't drink the bottom. Given that I'm a kombucha novice, I did not heed this advice. Despite seeing the weird sludge at the bottom, I paid no attention as I slurpled it all up. Apparently that part at the bottom is the "mushroom" as some call it, the combo of the yeast and bacteria used to make the drink.

[Exibit A: Not my drink, but gives you an idea]

Knowing this now, I believe it is part of the reason I think I felt like a nut later. Which leads me to...

3. Boozy. I should have known this given that I was familiar with the fact that kombucha is a fermented drink. Emily and I were running late back to work so I grabbed my kombucha to go. The cup had no lid so consequently the liquid was slopping all over the place. Not wanting to smell like vinegar, I finally gave up and just chugged the rest of my drink on the spot. By the time I got back to my office, the "mushroom buzz" hit.

It was less than enjoyable. Some people say kombucha gives them energy. I seriously don't understand that at all. I felt exhausted! And don't even get me started with what that much of a crazy probiotic will do to your stomach when consumed in a hurry. Eep. Made for an interesting rest of the afternoon, that's for sure.

Moral of the story: While some may swear by the healing nature of kombucha, I'll stick with the liquid bread.